The Paper Round

Silvio wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth, you may have guessed that already. Life was tough on Silvio's housing estate, so tough in fact that the job description of paper round, may not accurately describe what should otherwise have been quite a civilised first job for a young boy, starting off in the world of work and hoping to pocket some ready cash in the process. You see there was a lot of obstacles Silvio had to negotiate on a daily basis, in order to get the papers delivered. There was the guy who would set his rottweiller on young Silvio if he didn't receive a free paper. There was also the family of glue sniffers, who routinely kidnapped anyone who knocked on their door selling anything of value. The various laneways around the estate, were places you were likely to either end up  being an unwilling participant in a boxing match, or witnessing a cock fight at close quarters. Young Silvio managed to negotiate all of these hazards for six weeks, without being ripped apart by rabid dogs or being kidnapped and held to ransom. Then the shit finally hit the fan, the day Silvio's boss forgot to write the house numbers on each of the papers. This was a fatal error that destroyed another wise flawless career. Without the house numbers on the banner of each paper Silvio was shagged, because he hadn't memorised the houses he delivered too. So who got the papers with no numbers?, you guessed it. The glue sniffers got one, maybe two, the guy with the rottweiller got one and the first seventy houses Silvio came too got a free paper. The boss only realised the extent of the problem when his usual punters showed up at his door that night demanding their papers too. Silvio had an accuracy drop rate of around 10%, which left sixty-three irate customers without their Evening Press. Needless to say Silvio never went back to face the music or the various lunatics scattered throughout the area. That was one crap job he'll never forget every time he picks up a periodical to check the racing results.