The Piano

It was only in latter years that I nurtured any real respect for the piano. Professor Longhair and the Mississipi delta crew are now heroes of mine but that was not always the case, in fact my first encounter with said instrument occurred when I was thirteen years of age. It wasn't at a piano lesson I might add, it was quite the opposite. I was enlisted to break up the up-right piano which had proudly stood in the bar of the Pierre hotel for a generation. Now, anyone who has ever broken up a piano knows the best way to go about it, is to roll it off the roof of a six storey building, unfortunately I had never met anyone so knowledgable in such matters so I decided on a different tact. I arrived in the Pierre at 8.30am on a Saturday morning with a  sledgehammer and a Bushman saw. I gently placed the Bushman on the Tremolo pedal and climbed onto the piano with the sledgehammer. I then swung the 20Ib hammer in a 180 degree arc and hit the upright section of the soundboard full square with the hammer. I fully expected the piano to disintegrate into thousands of un-recognisable pieces beneath me, but no, that was not the case. The hammer merely bounced off the rosewood panel sending the key of C reverberating around the hotel at 150 decibels. Within 2 minutes the entire roll-call of guests had assembled at the reception demanding an explanation for the unannounced early morning alarm call which had unexpectedly echoed around the hotel. Silvio didn't hang around to answer any questions but instead made lively out the back door and lived to tickle the ivories another day. That was one crap job I'll never forget, neither will the guests in the Pierre!!